Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day has never been a real favorite of mine. Since we moved around so much, I found myself excruciatingly nervous about whether I would receive Valentine cards and was deeply grateful when my little handmade box got deposits.

ValentineBox

Valentine’s Day as a young professional brought the proverbial roses and/or chocolates. Always appreciated, never over-the-moon. Had I not received them from my lover, I would have been hurt I suppose, yet the day never held great significance, truth-be-told.

Valentine’s Day as a married woman was fairly routine too. Through the years, HUSBAND would leave me a lovely card, often send flowers by delivery or bring them home after work. He cooked a delicious dinner and gave me chocolates for dessert.

flowers6

Valentine’s Day 2014. Nothing.

I didn’t get anything. Well…I did get a card. A card that was not lovely and loving, but funny.?

It was a little niggle in my soul, but nothing too big. We had been married 27 years and were busy and had my parents living us and things were different. I had gone out and purchased Valentine’s cards for our children, and HUSBAND, and for my dying father to give my mother (something he always did). And I picked up three lovely, simple, crystal bracelets that looked like something daddy would give mom and that mom would like and I gave them to daddy to give to mom since he could not leave the house. And he cried. And she cried when he gave them to her.

beadedbracelets2

There was a little niggle, but all these things took over my heart and my mind.

So a few months later when I had discovered infidelity and I was ravishing records to try to put what life appeared to be and what life was together into one picture, I found a simple little email in HUSBAND’s account. It was from 1-800 flowers for a discount for Valentine’s Day flowers. And I asked him if he’d sent SW flowers. He had. He had ordered her flowers, an elaborate bouquet…one of the most expensive they’d promoted. And then he told me he had canceled the order because she said she had to travel and wouldn’t be in the office. And she really didn’t like flowers. Waste of money. She likes plants.

Paypal confirmed this story.

I love flowers. Beautiful, fresh flowers. I know they are a waste of money and they don’t last. But they are beautiful and if you get the right kind, smell good too. I love them and always have. She doesn’t. But she was going to get them.

Valentine’s Day. Still not a real favorite of mine.

NoValentines

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25 thoughts on “Valentine’s Day

  1. With very few exceptions, it has always managed to disappoint. And Mother’s Day is around the corner and that has fallen flat often too. The last few were about throwing me off the trail. He did it by being mean and then telling me I was never happy. Love to all of you, regardless of what the hallmark calendar says.

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  2. When I saw the title of your post, I immediately closed my eyes. Valentines’ Day for me is probably one of the most excruciatingly painful holidays…even more so than Christmas.
    I got the casual and blatant lie….”oh, babe. I didn’t do anything this year…on either end.” That WTC got taken to a Sweetheart dance and made sure I got pictures of them together. LOL
    Men are such pigs!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Holidays in general rather suck. Valentine’s Day 2015 I got nothing the first time ever in our 27 year old marriage. I asked him about that in the aftermath of all this and he said ” I didn’t get either of you anything. It didn’t seem right.” Yeah…..no kidding.
    So my first D day is next week, May 5. Wish me luck ladies!

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    1. I do wish you strength, and peace on this first DDay. Mine was rough…but I got through it. My second (second first DDay) is the 29th…wonder how it will be at this point…HUGS to you!

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  4. To me, like so many others, Valentine’s Day has always been a day of empty gestures and hurt feelings. I am pretty sure that Saint Valentine did not intend for his legacy to become so distorted. It’s a shame, because if history is to be believed, he did so much for the lovers who were forbidden to be together.
    Now the day that marks his life of good deeds is sullied by hollow actions, vanity and deception. This is truly sad.
    So it made me very happy, and brought tears to my eyes, to read that Valentine’s Day was special to your parents. What lovely people. I am so glad you made the day meaningful for them. That is what it’s all about—pure love. You were so sweet to be thoughtful in a time when you were feeling deep personal sadness.
    Oh, and I love the idea of your homemade Valentine box. That was precious.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pretty much all holidays suck in my household. No one seems to care and they question why I try to go all out. I think I may have gotten flowers once from my cheating husband. My current husband, gives me a card and maybe we go out for dinner. Nothing fancy. Burgers or tacos. The thing is, I don’t have to cook or clean up!

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  6. I have never liked VD. It is a made up holiday. Not a holy day. I have a Jewish friend who has cooked us such wonderful meals for celebrating her faith. We have enjoyed the food and the fellowship. Her holy days have not been corrupted. When did Easter become bunnies and eggs? When did having the most presents, or the best decorated house, take the place of Christmas? It is the little things we do for each other every day that says “I love you”. There is no substitute. For VD I think a day spent together just being married is what would make it special.

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