During the month of April, I am taking the A-Z alphabet challenge. Each day except Sundays, my blog will feature a letter, beginning with A. I will examine a specific word, and how it is interwoven into a moment, a portion or part, or all of my life experience. Join me on this journey through the alphabet of life!
Ahead. I have always wanted, or needed, to know what is ahead.
Years ago, I attended a retreat for the soul annually. A small group of women gathered at a magnificent mountain home for a week where we were challenged to consider deeply a few things about our lives. We spent time in solitude, time together, time in Bible study and time in prayer.
Each morning, we joined our leader for a walk through the neighborhood. Fast paced and invigorating, we followed D, our leader, who knew the area intimately and never paused. One morning on year three, as we walked in our pack, we were approaching an intersection and I quietly said, “D, which way up there?”
D never missed a step in the brisk walk, but she said, “S? Did you realize that you are the only one who asks which way next?”
She was right. I was the only one who asked, prior to getting to every intersection, which way was next. I was startled, somewhat embarrassed.
Ahead…I wanted, needed to know what was ahead.
That resonated in my soul…for years…and in reality if I’d known what was ahead, I would have opted for a different direction. But ahead, although fraught with searing pain and crushing struggles, outlined in beauty and joy and amazing humans…ultimately led to a place I never knew existed, and that I would definitely not want to miss.
Ahead…in retrospect, I didn’t want and couldn’t need to know, but I’m glad to be going there.
savingshards 
I can understand that. I am like that if I am driving somewhere and don’t know where I am going, but my passenger does. I like instructions well before reaching the junction. Looking forward to reading more as the month passes. Blessings Joy
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Thank you, Joy! You too…your A-Z will be lovely!
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We are always in search of what’s “ahead”. It’s part of human nature. But now a days, it’s more of living in the moment.
I liked your word choice. Looking forward to reading more!
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Ah…Susan…I honestly don’t know what I would have done if I would have known what was ahead when I said yes to that first date with Will so many decades ago. In retrospect, I think I would have chosen self-protection and just remained friends. I have so much regret…more pain and heartbreak and damage than I think I can bear at times. So…ahead? Yes. Like you, I want to know what is ahead, but I don’t think that will change for me anytime soon. I think I will only be more cautious.
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I understand how you feel, and why you feel. Hoping for breakthroughs in your life…
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So much in my fears of starting over lies in the fear of the unknown. I like to know what’s going to happen and how it will all look. I want to know what’s ahead.
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Oh we have that so in common. I think what I see now is that led me to miss the possibilities of what could be since I was so focused on what should be. It is freeing to be okay not knowing what is ahead. Scary…but freeing. HUGS.
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Lots of HUGS!
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