in Affairs, Marriage, Other Woman, Uncategorized 366 Words

Hypocrisy. Again.

Two years ago, I madly searched for any insight into the last woman HUSBAND was fucking. As the sordid details of his 25 years of deception and cheating and double life and, what I eventually learned, sex addiction, were unfolding, I was desperate to try to find out everything I could about this woman.

I read the things she had written to HUSBAND again and again. I watched the videos she had made for him several times (only a couple of what he tells me were hundreds). I read her facebook postings and comments on HUSBAND’s page, on my sisters-in-laws pages, on other friends pages. And I began to get a glimpse of this woman who had so willingly played a role in the drama of my life without me knowing.

The perversion of her sensibilities became obvious. Obvious on her posts that talked about all kinds of things from a crass perspective, and from an “it’s-all-about-me” viewpoint. Obvious when she posted a shocked response at the reported theft of some items from a mutual friends’ store: “How dare he…they should throw him over the boat” (it involved some fishing equipment). Seriously? This other woman who was stealing and destroying parts and pieces of the unit of our family thought she had the right to stand in judgement of another thief? Could she not see that she was a master thief?

Well…I thought I’d long gotten over this madness, the impact to me of her hypocrisy. I certainly have gotten over the searching, looking for her or “stalking her,” and think about and of her less and less. But today, today when looking at a mutual friend’s facebook, there was a short video showing a homerun hit and the subsequent fans-in-the-stand reaching for the baseball of a recent game. The disturbing portion of the short video is when the ball is caught by a little girl and simultaneously snatched, literally out of her hands, by an older woman…likely in the general age range of HUSBAND’s last whore. Of SW.

snatching

WELLLLLL…on that post….SW posted a response that caught me by surprise.

“Wow. Heartless.”

No words from this betrayed.

40 thoughts on “Hypocrisy. Again.”

      1. I had a similar experience recently too SH. Just seeing pictures of her brought up a lot- unfortunately it was at the same time as a bad trigger and I found myself spiraling downwards again the past few days.

        It’s sad how little self awareness and insight into themselves the ow has. But I don’t know how they could stand being in their own skin if they truly understood how awful their actions are!

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  2. Didn’t you know that “people” like that are the first ones to point the finger at somebody else? Like the WTC….fucking my husband and warning me that I had better not come to S. C. again….(for fear that he might have sex with his wife.) Who the fuck was she to say that? Just like your Husbands’ tramp saying “wow. Heartless.”
    I don’t know where these people were when they were handing out the sensitivity chips…oh yeah…out fucking somebody elses’ husband.

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  3. My husband’s Office Whore actually called me 6 months after D-day and told me to get over it. That they just had a professional relationship now. Seriously? What do you think this is high school where you cheated with my boyfriend and not actually my husband of 26 years??

    These creatures are narcissists to an extreme. To this day almost 15 months since I can bring myself to a complete fury thinking about how she felt entitled to my husband. How she could treat me and my family with such disregard ( I knew her). I know, I know, I have to get past it and my husband is equally as guilty but damn it. Like you sometimes the shear and utter hypocrisy and cruelty of their past and current actions is time stopping. And it goes both ways. Sometimes I get these feelings towards my husband where I simply am brought to my knees in disbelief and overwhelming grief.
    So I guess we keep plodding ahead SS and for me I hope that karma has some truth in it ; )

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    1. Oh that is outrageous. And it is, for them, like some little error…some little fling. SW sent me a text a couple months after and said I know neither of us wants any reminders of this “ugly chapter in our lives.” Ugly chapter in our lives? Uh…the one where the slut fucks the husband of a couple she WENT TO THE WEDDING OF just two years prior…flies around the country for five months screwing his brains out while the wife is at home pregnant??? And then reappears after 24 years of marriage to try to convince him it always was real love…and he deserves happiness…and go ahead, divorce her, divorce her? That ugly chapter? Again…no words. These women. YES…it is fully our husband’s faults. But I stand firm that it also fully these other women’s fault, too. Sorry…having a bad moment here. 🙂

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      1. Let it out SS! Sometimes it is what we need! I’m just sorry you are having a bad day of it. I have to say your SW is tenacious. Mine is so young I don’t now how much effort she would give to my husband. If she came back in 24 years for him he would be 79! Not sure she would get a lot of action!

        Remember you have moved on to another chapter with the man you love who loves you back. That being said its so damn exhausting trying to take the high road all the time. Wouldn’t it be great if there was a camp for the betrayed? Spa like with lots of great food, delicious drinks and the BEST bitch sessions ever!! Sounds like my daughters sorority!!

        These creatures truley are appalling. I can’t call them women because I hate the thought that another woman would turn on one of her own. Take care of yourself today. I’m off to do some retail therapy. Oh I would include that at the camp too!

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        1. I am SO GRATEFUL for you!! YES! Camp BEAUTIFUL is what it should be…Camp BRAVE! Camp Ferocious! Oh…it would be amazing. And thank you for your encouragement. I am having an angry day. Thank you for being there for me. HUGS!

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      2. I agree with you. Trying to do the right thing, but my gosh was I tempted to throw shit at this bitch….publicly !
        But I know…the best way is to ignore the OW and work with my husband and kids to have our life back. That is the best revenge. She will NEVER have that!

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    3. Leanne (OW) did that. Six weeks after D-day To Roger. She refused to speak to me. After all, I am a nothing little ‘wifey’. “Oh, tell Paula to grow up. Get over it. Nobody died.” Emotional depth of a gnat. Absolutely no idea. And completely unaware of the depravity and destruction of her actions.

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        1. I think that was when the light bulb started to flicker for me. She is a sociopath. I thought she was genuinely my friend. This started to lift the curtain on why she wouldn’t speak to me. She felt nothing for me. Having never been in a long term relationship, she had zero idea that this would destroy me. That I truly loved him. That I had invested everything in him. That I wouldn’t be in any position to just brush it off immediately. She honestly has no idea or no care that this was devastating for me. But hey. In the end, her thoughts (or lack of) don’t affect me anymore. They are truly awful people. What is sad is that I didn’t really see just how bad a friend she was. Until it was far too late. Meh.

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        2. It is utterly mind-blowing that ultimately, it was something blase and unimportant (overall) for her, yet destroyed something so beautiful and real for you two. She is a sociopath. It makes my heart hurt to think of all that is gone for nothing. xo

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  4. Ah…this is where I struggle. I try to remind myself that this is exactly why they are the “other” woman. They are deeply, deeply flawed at their core. Remember my friend, that she never took anything that meant anything. What she got from Husband was exactly what she is herself…superficial, surface-only, unreal…fantasy. You now have 100%real, genuine and true. You always did have that but it was buried deep. She stole the penny candy…you have Gidiva chocolate. Much love to you dear friend!

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  6. Ok, this might sound a bit vulgar, but it is honest (promise Sav): we are all women and we know how the equipment works. We can make any man excited with touch, with certain language, with sexy clothing….you get the point (pun intended). This is the power we have as women. Yes, our husbands were arseholes, they betrayed us…we are working on this and it is a long road…but women who abuse their power to hurt others (plural) just for their own selfish reasons: money or job….or out of jealousy or spite, are not ever getting my sympathy.
    These women do it again and again…..I am not talking about the one night mistake…
    I find it hard to let these individuals go with no consequence whatsoever.

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  8. I didnt really follow with all that about the video but I understood it as that the Other Woman was the one making that comment… and then a thought hit me, why would you see her comment? Perhaps you just visit the same video sites by accident or something… but, if it is the case that you have her on Facebook/visit her Facebook page, etc, then I would advice to not visit her page at all. I do not think it promotes healing to keep visiting her page, it is more like pouring salt and lemon juice into an old wound… not judging at all, I understand the impulses behind this, but in the interest of your well being and healing I hope you can manage to stay away from her page. All the best, take care. Hugs 💙💙💙

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    1. Oh yes, SN….you are right. We have some mutual friends, that’s all. I don’t run across her often at all anymore, and definitely don’t seek her out! That’s why it took me by surprise…seeing it, and my response to what she said. Thought I was further along than to be triggered… I appreciate your encouragement to keep heading ONWARD!! HUGS back to you.

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  9. Wow. That woman is so out of touch with reality. She’s so out of touch with herself. Shocking. I’m so sorry she managed to give you a bad day. I wish there was a way you could block her or somehow erase her from your surroundings in every possible way. I hope today is a better day. And, good for you for not commenting something on her comment to clarify what a fucked up heartless (WOW. HEARTLESS.) bitch SHE is. Not sure I could have held back on that one.

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  10. I had a convo with one of my ex’s mistresses. She had two children and was pregnant with her 3rd and was begging me not to tell her husband because while she may deserve the punishment her children didn’t deserve to lose their family. Wow, how ironic. Mine must have.

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    1. Oh my…this just made me a bit ill. I’m so sorry. It is just bizarre how myopic the players are in this whole sordid drama. Again…I’m sorry. It must have been difficult not to lose your cool. HUGS, strong warrior!

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